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These are my tombs painted black and blue

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(no subject) [Jul. 14th, 2007|04:41 am]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

I wish I could sleep. I wish I felt the need for sleep. I just have too much on my mind for such a trivial part of life, I guess.
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More than meets the eye my ass. [Jul. 6th, 2007|11:58 pm]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
[mood |disappointedgod damn]

Transformers fucking sucked. There. I said it.

Somebody had to. I'm seemingly the only person on earth that hated this movie, and I can't for the life of me figure out why.

Let's go through the reasons to hate it, shall we?

* Fucking retarded Hackers-esque supernatural technobabble written by idiots that really think it's possible to hack a government supercomputer using an iPod mini and a really colorful graphical interface? Check.

* Disgusting product placement, including using a GM concept car or two for some Autobots despite their ability to remain inconspicuous being integral to the story? Check.

* Hamfisted superfluous human storyline taking up roughly 70% of the movie's run-time? Check.

* Complete lack of character development for all of the Transformers aside from Bumblebee and Optimus Prime, both of which only received the bare minimum of development themselves? Check.

* Government alien coverup conspiracy subplot wherein it comes out that the Pentagon has known about and held an intact alien captive since the prohibition era, in a major tourism point of interest no less? Check.

* Overzealous and schizophrenic action sequences that are so completely ridiculous as to make it borderline impossible to follow what was going on during these scenes? Check.

* Usage of a Linkin Park song during the closing credits? Fucking check.

* A total run-time that's at least an hour too long? Check.

* Michael Bay, Tyrese and an aging Jon Voigt all in the same waste of film? Check.

Overall I found almost nothing worth watching here other than Bumblebee. He was the only character I cared about in the slightest and I think that's mostly due to him spending the first bit of the movie as a fucking rad old beater of a '74 Camaro, as well the fact that he spends most of the movie communicating completely through intelligent use of his FM radio. I mean, when the first thing that he "says" is Drive by The Cars... yeah. <3

But yeah. I really hated this movie the first time I saw it over ten years ago when it was called Independence Day. I hate the people that say things like this, but Michael Bay can go fuck himself for shitting down the throat of my childhood. This film was obviously created as a franchise starting point, possibly moreso than any other movie ever made, and I will absolutely NOT be seeing any sequels. This shit sucked just that much.

The only thing that would have saved it is if Will Smif and Martin Lawrence had provided the voices of Ratchet and Jazz, just so that we could have heard a "talking into an oscillating fan" version of the two of them saying "This shit just got real" when Bay did his trademark helicopter sweep shot. Avoid at all costs.
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Holy shit. [Jun. 25th, 2007|05:32 pm]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
[mood |shockedmy mind is blown]
[music |FUCKING DUH! I can't stop listening to it!]

And in this corner, I present the most insanely danceable song ever created - Kissy Sell Out's absolutely fucking amazing remix of Chick Fit by All Saints.

Seriously.

Remember All Saints? Manufactured all girl pop act from the late 90s that was made simply to ride the wave of the Spice Girls? Okay, now forget about them. The only important thing to remember about them is that apparently they're still together, still making the same terrible music, and they've released a single from their newest album called Chick Fit.

The single CD for this song has a couple of remixes, as is typical for mainstream-esque pop music, but the only thing worth listening to on it is the Kissy Sell Out remix that I linked to above, because it is hands down the most absolutely fucking incredible electroclash song ever written. You will never find anything more danceable than this. Ever. I guarantee it. It takes a minute or two to really grab you, but it just keeps grabbing the longer the song goes on, and the bit at 5:20 completely sends shivers down my spine.

I am utterly dumbfounded at the brilliance of a remix of a fucking All Saints song. How the fuck did that happen?

Seriously. Listen to it and just try to argue with me. You won't want to after listening to it.
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Go team water buffalo! [May. 28th, 2007|11:29 pm]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
[mood |amusedwow!]
[music |La Quiete - Riflessioni Sul Peccato]

This video is utterly amazing.Collapse )

A herd of water buffalo are attacked by a pride of lions in a nature reserve in Africa. When the lions manage to knock a calf into the water they have to fight it out with a few crocodiles for ownership of the buffalo. Meanwhile the rest of the herd has gone back for reinforcements and come back on the lions for a fight that can only be described as Tolkien-esque.

I love nature.
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(no subject) [May. 26th, 2007|08:03 am]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
[mood |crappyow]

Alcohol is something to be feared and respected.
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(no subject) [May. 12th, 2007|09:16 pm]
These are my tombs painted black and blue


I'm bad about thinking things through.
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(no subject) [Apr. 25th, 2007|11:12 pm]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
Remember back when Livejournal was cool and people actually used it? Yeah, so do I.

Fuck you, myspace.
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(no subject) [Apr. 7th, 2007|12:53 pm]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
Doug E. Fresh is a scientologist. This is not a world I wish to live in.
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(no subject) [Mar. 22nd, 2007|12:36 am]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
Happy birthday, Angela!
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(no subject) [Jan. 19th, 2007|06:48 am]
These are my tombs painted black and blue
I'm a fucking idiot.

Also, I can't remember the last time I made a public entry on livejournal.
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