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These are my tombs painted black and blue

These are my tombs painted just for you

10 October 1980
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There's little that I can or will say about myself when the words of a better man do so better than I could:

I cannot change or hide what I am even if I wanted to. Interrogation would not be necessary. I am branded in every possible way. It is the road I took that made me what I am. It is impossible, after a certain point, to go back to a previous way of life, a previous way of thinking. It is no longer an option. This makes things simple, if not calming. I tried to walk away from it a few times in the past. I was young and didn't understand the permanence of the marks the rites of my particular passage were leaving upon me. It is difficult to deal with contemporary attitudes with the ancient, often brutal perspective my path has provided. I must applaud myself for my use of unconscious restraint during the last few years when walking the streets of this decadent failure. Many is the time that someone has crossed the line and lost the privilege of respect. "Don't do anything unnecessary" flashes through my mind in situations like these and I let it pass. This maxim has always provided me with clarity in the quickly changing and often untenable urban setting. Over the din of traffic, my mind only hears the roar of the ocean. Where they see garbage, I see clusters of beautiful wild flowers. My mind is unpolluted by the decadence that reigns in the city. I am pointed at, called after and given many opportunities to be annoyed by these weak intrusions. What they don't know is that I only hear the howl of wind tearing across a high mountain top and that none of their words have meaning to me. They do not know what I stand for. They do not know my beliefs and what makes my spirit strong like iron and flexible like a young tree. "Never forget what you are" is something that I say to myself often lest I momentarily forget. It is important, you know, to never forget what you are. When you know what you are then no one can take anything from you. Of course, this is something that you will never be able to explain to anyone. There are of course, some obvious traits that pull you out from the numbing mediocrity of the masses: You never relent. Your unbelievable resolve is free from the malice of blind ambition. You can go without. You do not complain. You do not allow yourself to be compromised by the weakness of others. You only fight in self defense and when you do, it is unleashed with a hostile fury that is indescribable and only illustrates the respect you have for your own life. You can be alone for infinite periods of time. You are clear, grounded, intense and spontaneous. And you never forget what you are. Warrior.

-- From Solipsist by Henry Rollins
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